there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Rumble strips road head = magical
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
