She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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