I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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