just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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