I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
