the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
