It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
