They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
