please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
