Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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