new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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