i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
