Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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