Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
