Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
