I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The air taste purple.
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