I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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