my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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