my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
