why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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