i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
