Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
