His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
