I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
