he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
