the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize