yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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