weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
