It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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