i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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