if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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