So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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