we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
