sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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