she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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