Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
