Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I FOUND THE LEGS
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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