It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sobbing to NWA
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
