i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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