i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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