I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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