Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
