So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
