He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Randomize
