it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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