69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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