Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
