WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
