Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
