White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
