That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
