Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
